Selfless in a Selfish World

Disclaimer: For many months now, I have seen so many photos and posts on social media about leaving "toxic people" out of our lives. I ran across one that read, "Don't do selfless things for selfish people." And I grew furious. I cooled down after a few minutes, but that has stuck with me since I read it. I truly hope this blog does not come across as a rant (even though it may have started out that way). I just want to shed some much-needed light on the subject. The Truest Light.

It’s not about how much others give you, it’s about how much you give others. People aren’t perfect, and communication isn’t easy.

 But we justify how we treat others by the way they treat us?

Matthew 7:12

“Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets.”

Is that what Jesus told us to do? Walk away when it gets hard? Ignore those who don’t love us as much as we love them? 

Matthew 5:44, 46-47

          “[44] But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; [46] For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same? [47] And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others ? do not even the publicans so?"

People don’t like us back... others think we are weird... we put more of our energy into them than they put into us... friends make us feel left out... nobody keeps in touch with us...

So, what? Why do we make our compassion, our thoughtfulness, and our friendship contingent on what we receive from others? We were told to give to others and give FREELY (without regrets, no expectations of services in return, with a heart that is invested in others more than ourselves). 

         Matthew 10:8

“Heal the sick, cleanse the lepers, raise the dead, cast out devils: freely ye have received, freely give.”

Yeah, it's hard to be that selfless. It’s hard to pour our hearts into others and get almost nothing in return. But Jesus did so much more than that. He gave up his life, he died for the whole world (everybody living in his time and every single generation after that). Billions upon billions of people. And we can't even begin to count the ways and amount of people who turned their backs on Jesus. People who thought/think his story is a myth, his people were/are crazy, refuse to believe in him, reject him in every way possible. But he died for those people. The people who hate him, who reject him, despise him, mock him, ridicule his life, spit upon his face by the way they live... they are the very souls He gave his life to save. He could have chosen to not go through with it. Jesus had the power to walk away. He had the opportunity to be selfish and call 10,000 angels to save him... but then where would we be?

If Jesus had the attitude so many people have today, where would we be? Would you and I even be enjoying the blessings of this life today? Would the world have kept turning after Jesus called his angel army? Would God have stopped time as we know it at that moment? The hope and light of the world would be no more, and humankind would be cut off. Given no more mercy. Run out of second chances.

But he didn't back down. He didn't forsake the people that needed him. He didn't look at himself and chase what was in it for him. He wasn't pursuing his own wants and desires. He was fulfilling God's will no matter the cost.

No matter the hurt. Despite the pain. Through the sweat and tears. By the grace of God. With a heart full of love and the deepest understanding of the human heart.

I want to go back to something I mentioned earlier... we put so much of our energy into others while all their energy is spent on themselves. The thing about expending our energy is that it isn't our power to give. When we reach out to others, when we love the people around us, it isn't our own strength that allows us to hold ourselves together. Go a few days, even a few hours without dwelling on God's word or thinking on things above. You'll feel drained, restless, weary. That's because we are NOT self-sufficient. Our daily dose of energy doesn't come from the coffee we drink, the protein found in our breakfast, the probiotic we take to keep us healthy, or the music we listen to. No, the source of all our strength comes from that never-ending flood of a fountain. The living water Jesus offers, his words, his love, his hand, his Father, God's grace, God's faithfulness, and His marvelous mercy hold us together. Only God can refill our cup. His wisdom and his knowledge lead us to Jesus. And when we draw from that well, giving up ourselves becomes a blessing. Because when we run to the well, all the work and all the weakness we find in our daily dose of selflessness and service of the heart is rewarded with bread and water from the Only One who can completely satisfy us. When we burn ourselves out, no matter if it is simply performing our daily duties or being a friend to those who aren't friends to us, we go to the Father. We seek Him out, and He fills us up. We run on empty, and then Jesus is our fullness. And if He is our truest desire, our greatest love, and our only Master as we follow his ways, God will always provide. He is faithful.

One last thing I want to address about this newfound attitude. I'm just going to be honest. It's selfish. When we get to the point of caring more about what people do for us than what we can do for them, that isn't love. Not God's love. God's love is doing for others what you can even if they don't return the favor. It's being patient, understanding, and compassionate to those who seem to not invest as much as we do. We may not receive what we want from others (admiration, affection, friendship, understanding, or simple interest in our daily life), but when we love them anyway, our reward will be so much bigger than the opinions of other people. Because we loved. Because we laid down our own wants in order to supply the people around us with what they need.

What if you were the only person who would be honest with them? What if you were the person who pointed them to Jesus, but you chose to walk away? What if by chasing your own pursuits, you left a soul in the dust who was inches away from the ever-supplying well of truth?

So, my advice is this:

Be selfless

When we live a life for ourselves, we live an empty life.

Be patient

Breathe deep and give them time.

Read the Truth

Pour your heart into God's Word and lead them to His truth.

Pray unendingly

Approach God's throne in humility and with your empty heart and ask for his grace and wisdom to fill you up again.

Put yourself in their shoes

 Do you want people to give up on you?

Keep Trying

Never give up on the people who treat you wrong- you are the only light they may see, so don't hide yourself from their view.

May God, the Almighty Creator and Greatest of Fathers, open your heart to those who mistreat you. May he be your foundation and source of love, patience, understanding, wisdom, and friendliness. I hope Jesus' example and love lead you to a place of peace as you deal with the people around you. And may you see His hand in every little thing. And may God give you strength to persevere and be a friend even when you don't want to. May Jesus help you fulfill the needs of others instead of your wants. And when it gets hard, I pray you run to Him- only he can satisfy your heart.

"Love's not easy, but it's worth it."

          -Francesca Battestelli "Worth It"

May the Good Lord bless you and your relationships!

With love,

JesusFreak